Good Belly Yoga

I love my belly now even more than when I was young with a flat belly.

I don’t expect you or anybody else to see my yoga self as my young self: which was thin, lithe and pain-free until my forties.

I’m am old woman now who is obsesses about her diet, trying to be more healthy (but only on my calm days), and trying to maintain the exercise routine that (maybe) will keep my blood flowing to all the places in my body that need oxygen.

Mostly now I do a lot of deep breathing from the first moment I get up, but even after my morning meditation, I don’t always have the mental state I need to go on and be productive.

However, yoga gave me probably the best gift of my life emotionally: because the minute I get stressed have a sip of water. That brings me back to the present and hydrates my brain so I think better. Then I stretch.

I used to smoke like a chain smoker, one pack a day in college, until my boyfriend of the time told me how he felt about me littering the parking lot with cigarette butts. I respected his opinion and tried to quit smoking cigarettes, but it took a couple of years to finally toss away my last cigaretter.

I wanted to stop smoking because I knew doctors who smell the cigarettes on me may not have the best opinion of me.

I was being only resistant and obnoxious for other reasons that had nothing to do with them.

I know feeling good comes from someplace different from what I imagined while I was in college. So I keep trying to feel here, when I am dealing with people, and I dream when I am alone.

Most of my life I have been paying mindful attention to the present, but mindfulness is not a panacea. It is only a way to deal with life.

If I have to keep climbing or crawling up to a better place every day, I will persist, and even though that takes effort, focus, and a regular practice, on my good days, I will try to do better.

Oddly, our current world of memes and social media does not always push us in a way we can understand our body’s changes.

Our world is full of people offering you easy solutions. Take this pill, do this class, and lose weight.

No worries, it is more important that you take care of your health by eating well and staying centered when things get tough.

Learning to love yourself, no matter what your circumstances, body image,or BMI, comes from a dynamic place between your reality and what you think about yourself, and how you handle your relationships.

You will not get there by yourself: you will need other good people in your life who support you in feeling better about yourself and also keep you within reality.

That is a tightrope that only you can walk.

You will find it if you don’t give up too soon.